My Journey
I am a former corporate warrior with: A thriving family, a thriving business, and a progressive form of multiple sclerosis.
After working in the corporate world, as a business owner, and as someone living with an incurable and debilitating disease, I have a unique perspective as to how unaddressed stress hurts. I am a no bull type of guy and due not shy away from telling you the truth no matter how uncomfortable it is. I want to help you to reduce your stress, not to increase it.
With frustration, pessimism, and the risk of burnout in my life I realized that something had to change. My story has a real-world application and the sequence of events that lead to me writing this book matter and they started about 45 years ago.
I want you to benefit from my experience and my knowledge. I do not want to be your hero; I want to be your guide.
My days in the corporate world usually started at 3:00 am when it was still dark outside, but I was wide awake. Day after day. Weekends too. It was like putting my foot on the gas pedal and not being able to find the brake to slow down or stop.
My body would ache to go back to sleep for just 15 more minutes. But no, I was wide awake. The anticipation of a full day, being pulled in different directions with lots of stress and anxiety was upon me.
I was working in commercial real estate for one of the world’s corporate real estate giants. And the corporate world in New York City is well known for messing with you. platter. And while I made great money. I let the work own me. The stress was eating me alive and I was hurting. My life was overwhelming. Living this way became very familiar to me.
My own personal expectations were always at their upper limits and no part of me was immune from them. I became easily agitated, frustrated, and moody. At times I felt overwhelmed and not only felt like I was are losing control, at times I did lose control. I had difficulty relaxing. I felt lonely, worthless, and depressed. I avoided others like they were the plague, including those closest to me.
You see to add to my professional stress my health was a mess. I had hit rock bottom. At the time, I did not know exactly what was happening to me. I was hurting, hurting bad.
I had to have surgery first for my knee and then back surgery for two herniated discs.
But there was more too it. What was supposed to be a routine double discectomy turned into much more. I was asked by my doctor, a neurologist to come to his office for a follow up visit. I scheduled my visit and at the appointment he pulled up my MRI and X-rays.
What was supposed to be a “you are healing nicely” conversation turned into so much more. He started talking, but like much medical speak, things went in one ear and out the other. You see, the surgery took longer than planned and he had forwarded my records to another doctor in New York City, and for good reason.
What stuck out was his pointing out numerous spots to me and explaining that what he felt needed to be confirmed. He then said that he found what he believed were legions on my spine and that based on everything that he knew they were from Multiple Sclerosis, a term that I had heard of but knew nothing about.
My next visit was to the Corinne Goldsmith Dickinson Center for Multiple Sclerosis at Mount Sinai Hospital in New York City. After waiting weeks for the appointment, I finally met Michelle Fabian, MD. No further tests were necessary, you see Dr Fabian is one of the world’s best. If you have Multiple Sclerosis. Dr Fabian is the doctor that you want to see.
My primary progressive multiple sclerosis had been misdiagnosed as something else by numerous doctors for years and it was taking was taking its toll on my physical health and my mind. Multiple Sclerosis is an incurable and debilitating disease. Multiple Sclerosis is a life sentence My bottom just got deeper.
This had just been one of a long list of stressors that caused stress every day of my life. I knew that I needed to make a change and to tame my stress.
When my multiple sclerosis was diagnosed, my usual daily routine was suddenly forced to stop. The provincially mandated stop sign impacted my life significantly, especially given my young age and significant to do list that I had created for myself and not come close to finishing. Not even close.
While my life was not close to over, I had time to thoughtfully consider my journey, where I was, how I got there, and how I wished to proceed moving forward.
Through my years of working whether in the corporate world or as an entrepreneur I have experienced and navigated stress, lots of stress. Maybe you have heard me refer to it as a tsunami of stress.
Minor stress and extreme stress, both are stress, and both are impactful. I gained insight into the world of dealing with stress on my own personal front line. I experienced moments of profound joy and satisfaction, and moments of deep sadness and disappointment. As my career grew, so did my responsibilities and my stress. While my professional world around me continually changed, my personal life continued to evolve as well, but not always for the better.
As my professional achievements continued to evolve over the years, so did my levels of stress. I regularly ignored the red flags, but things only got worse.
I juggled my personal commitments along with my work and was grateful to be alive. Between early morning meetings, never-ending paperwork, and rearranging schedules my stress reached a critical level.
I routinely wished each day had one more hour, that each week had one more day and that each month had one more week. I loved my family, I loved my work, and I was fully committed to both. However, I often felt my head and heart strings pulled in different directions.
How was I going to get it all done?
Breakfast? Lunch? Dinner? Eat? Rarely, and when I did it was some sort of junk. Sleep? Barely and when I did the quality was poor. Exercise? Does walking to my mailbox or walking to the door to meet the food delivery driver count?
Can you identify with my story? Does my story sound like yours?
Even though my story has a happy ending, I would not wish the path that I have taken on you. Sometimes, to realize what we need, it takes a storm with a downpour. A storm so brutal that you have to pay attention and to make massive change.
Our world is full of stress lots of stress and some of that stress, lots for some is job related and follows us once we lease the office or job site.
Adam
adam@meditationnotmedicine.com
